the Circus of Life

if your life is defined by your behavior
actions
and
emotions
then what does that say
about your life
when you cheat?
are dishonest?
blind to humanity?
and betray loyalty?
when you turn a blind eye
and refuse to acknowledge
the world you live in?
what does that say
about your life
when your actions
await rewards
and your trust
is not withstanding?
when you ask for so much
and give so little
but expect everything
all of it
in return?
for no effort exhorted
no goals met
nothing accomplished
but float
from bed to bed
ruining life after life
and sucking the passion
from every soul
which passes through your hate gaze
icy cold grips
and steel trapped heart?
but these questions
are too much to bare
too much to answer to
so you don't ask the questions
but continue the behavior
hoping for another
to be dim witted
blind
and self indulgent
just like you
so you can show off together
in the middle of the stage
as others who took the time to secure
their answers willfully
look on
from our seats
munching on popcorn and drinking scotch
laughing
at the circus
you call life

No, Fuck That, It's Not Okay

exactly
no
fuck that
and it's not okay
you're behavior
is not okay
and you think you can waltz into my life again?
and everything is fine
no
fuck that
it's not okay
nothing is okay here
between us
nothing is fine
and whoever said time heals all wounds
can take it up his ass
whoa
i feel better now
i'm actually not even angry
or sad
or anything
i feel pretty good
and i'm going to move forward
in a very positive direction
my life is improving with every second!
and i mean that!
fuck i feel great
goddamn i'm in a good mood
but
hey
you wanna know something???
what happened back there
no
fuck that
it's not okay
if maybe you said sorry
a genuine sorry
it would be acceptable
but that fact that you defend your dishonesty
just makes my shell towards you
that much harder
just say,
"i'm sorry"
and we can move on

if
and
when
you
aren't
here
then
you'll
be
somewhere
you'll
want
to be
and
if
and
when
you're
sitting
here
next
to
me
you'll be
thinking
of that
other
place
you
wish
you
were
because
no
where
is
good
enough
for
you
change
into nothing