You're Calling 2 Alabama's - the Rush is On

       i looked around and listened for a bit, this was where i didn't want to be. i heard people clinging to those long lost hopes and it pressed me further into depression. they all wanted to be something, to be someone, to save something, to save the whale, to save the dolphin, to save the planet, to save humanity, when in there innermost being, they couldn't even save themselves... i saw them all as hypocrites and mass hysteria. Everything was dying, there was no way around that one, and i didn't want to save anything. the best i know, it all has a playground full of hope, and the hope only lets you down, the strong feed off the weak and the weak inherit the burden of this foul stench. we were nothing but rodents and pawns in their labyrinth, and we confused this labyrinth for life.  who knows how real reality is? or who knows how fake this reality is? i did believe in some kind of moral value, i did believe in some kind of right doing. but in the end, the rights are done wrong and the wrong is forgiven for ignorance, so the the rights are never accounted for and the wrongs are just assumed for the proper pepper way of doing things. oh what sorrow to live in this fucked up planet, but alas we must try and make our peace...
      make our peace, which got me thinking, how does one, who is not easy impressed, how does one, who does not take things lightly, how does one who rarely laugh take these steps of life in lightheartedness? that's a hell of  question to question??? how do you cross the line between the evil doers of the other side and the evildoers of this side? what complicated lives we lead in this tangled web that we conspire to conceive.....
     when the alcohol rushes through your blood veins, do you have that same closer eye view that i have? do we share the same image of the world burning? perhaps???? i hope for an anarchy to overrule at least this fair nation, where the meek shall inherit the earth.. but many before me have hoped for the same and any result they received was disappointing... so do you just give up?
      no. i believe that the proper way of doing things is to night fight against the system, but yet, find a way to work the system to our advantage. you corrupt them from the inside out, because they'll never suspect you, and you can easily manipulate this place to work in your advantage. it is true, that many people now on top have manipulated the system to work for them, but these are people full of greed and hunger. they want everything and they want it now. what if? by proxy? we were handed someone to control everything without a certain sense of guilt? idealistic i know, but if sharing is caring.. than share and smoke 'em if you got 'em.
       my brain spirals, and these are all samples, all tidbits of a bigger picture. i got no choice but to be here, but to comprehend and live with this. this apartment. this furniture. this dog. this woman. this roommate. this job and this money. if it were up to me, i'd move into a cabin far off into the woods and write about solitary until i was blue in the face, but alas, i cannot. so i'm gonna live here, amongst the weasels, amongst the rats, amongst the rodents and living, crawling beings to try and make sense of this stupid time here that was meant only to disappoint, withdraw, and hide me. he who laughs last.....

laughs alone.

so deal with it.