it was a system, life was a system, a machine, one fed into the other and that fed into another. conveyor belts carrying you around the factory in circles, bright lights flickered, the tv's and women flickered, everything was suppose to be a distraction, so that when you finally broke off of the circles, you were taken down that long hallway leading to an inhumane slaughter. killed like chickens, cows, and rhinos. this is how it went, for weeks you'd be on that one belt, leading you somewhere, and just like that, someone would throw a switch or push a button, and suddenly you were back on that last belt, the lights blindly you dumbly, and some never noticed, but i noticed, and i learned how to manipulate the belts, not follow along with them.
this is what i was thinking about as i sat out on our sidewalk, littered with furniture. living in Glendale, the armenians ran this joint. they spent their earnings on fancy cars and expensive furniture, all the while holed up 10 of them in a one bedroom apartment paying $1200 rent. they would buy the furniture, and then, buy more furniture, and toss the good stuff out into the street. it was a cool night, the clouds covered half the sky, and the other half remained desolate and black, not a star in sight, the moon was taking a break, like it always did every few weeks, pitch dark out, street lamps giving off that strange yellow glow.
i watched a woman come out of the apartment complex across the street and i turned my body towards her. she walked gracefully and softly, little feet pitter patting across the asphalt and concrete. she was taller than me, and slender, but she didn't walk dumbly or clumsy, she had a motion as if she were gliding. her hair was pulled up in a bun and her gray sweater gave off some decent outlines. i pictured her naked and wondered what she was doing coming out of that apartment complex. she saw me eying her and flashed a smile, my palms started getting sweaty, as they always do when people come near me. she was on me now, closer and closer, her walk became slower.
"they kick you out?" - she gave off a little giggle.
"just giving them time to play with themselves."
i caught her sideways i knew, and she giggled again and kept walking to wherever it was she thought she was going. a few seconds to late i realized why she said they kicked me out, i was sitting on top of a pile of furniture, i had misunderstood her.
"fuck it"
and i went back inside my hole to finish reading my book.
