This Isn't as Bad as You Sometimes Think

i looked down at my duct tapped wallet
and it didn't seem so bad
because it had money in it
i looked down at my sagging gut
and it didn't seem so bad
it meant i had enough to eat
i looked down at my drink
and didn't feel so bad
because i could sit in this shitty bar
and feel okay
surrounded by lifetime devoted drunks
i looked down at the two pool games i lost
and it didn't feel so bad
because it meant i learned something
a shot
a cut
reading the other person
waiting for their nicotine fix to kick in
i looked down at my swollen feet
and i didn't feel so bad
because it meant i had a job
serving people who don't deserve it
but every once in a while
i get an alright group
who clears their own table
and thanks me
for doing?
maybe nothing?
maybe everything?
i try not to think about it
i looked down at my cell phone
flipping through the names
and didn't feel so bad
because it meant i've had a history
people to learn from
people to leave
people to keep in the Queue...
and people who i love
i looked down at keys dangling from my hook
and didn't feel so bad
i have a place to sleep
a place to live
a car to drive
i looked down at my heart
and saw it beating through my shirt
calling for her
and i whispered to him
"hey, i know.. but we've got to be a team here
i know what you want. she wants it too.
but she's scared.
and we're in this together
so if she can't move towards you
then we have no choice but to be alone
together.
just me and you.
but we'll keep doing what we do.
keeping blood pumping
so help us god
sooner or later,
it'll happen.
she'll return
just enjoy it."
i looked down at my life
and didn't feel so bad
because it's full of so much shit
apathy
disaster
chaos
joy
i realized
i was looking down at everything
hot damn!
that must mean i'm on top!