And then She Watched Me

i watched her as she poured drinks
i watched her dance a little
she wasn't anything special
as her low cut boots slid
across rubber floor mats
she came to me
and i could see in her eyes
just how tired she was
tired
and frustrated
i wanted to give her something
not sure of what
i wanted to hold her
and rub her head
let her know that he work wasn't
all in vain
(in reality it was)
this girl
tired
sagging eyes
stripper like
wanted something
i concluded
that she needed a good fuck
like a firm
but gentle
somewhat emotional fuck
that would put her to sleep
and push all those thoughts out of her head
she had a nice pair of legs
and her face wasn't to shy either
i watched her
watched her pour drinks
watched her walk
and the calling oozed from  her
like nails from a pipe bomb
i wanted to grab her
and kiss her like these other fuckers
could never do.
i wanted to pull her hair
and slap her ass
fuck her with those low cut boots on
and eventually cum
somewhere on her torso.
but i couldn't
and i didn't want to
because the girl who i have now
makes all these broads look ugly
and
i don't cheat
and i'm not
that guy
or at least that's what i repeat to myself.
i wanted to be the one to give her all
those great things they write about
but i couldn't
and i didn't want to
so i let her stare into that empty glass
just like
she
was looking
in her mirror.

Going Up

being up is nice. being down is nice as well. some people never go up, or down, they stay steady lined the whole way. i dislike those people, they have no fight, and nothing to fight for. they're either always happy with a cheese smile on their face or either sad with a shit grin. when you're up, it's like being coked up, you're up on top, feeling alright, figuring shit out and enjoying the moments.. when you're down, well... you linger on shit way longer than you probably should, but being down builds character, and maybe that's why i'm always looking for down? happy people piss me off, i used to be happy, maybe that's why you make me angry? how can you be satisfied with all of this? don't you have any kind of opinion? anything to fight for? grow a little guff, don't be such a goddamn gullible push over..

i find it hard to smile in the face of shit. i judge.. so hate me.. i judge all the way.. i try to be understanding of people's situation, but some people are just shitty to begin with, what do we do with these people? do we beat them with beer bottles until they bleed at the mouth? sounds good to me?

the key might be to keep those shitty people, who give you bad vibes, far as possible away from you. some people make me smile, those are the good ones, and some people make me really angry, like bitter angry, like cynical angry, and those people i keep as far as i possibly can. 

if you can be anything, be something worth something, not something worth nothing. 

meh.

yeah...

fucking meh.