Saturday Night- Witnessing the Decline of Humanity- Duel Fashionistas Wreaking of Spoilage.

      I witnessed something today that really depressed the hell out of me. It wasn't as if I had a mind set going into the day of depression, I actually thought of today as one of the best days I'd had in a long while. Woke up at  noon, with the blinds pulled closed, it was dark in the room, but sunny and light outside. I laid in bed and played the game that i always like to play in the morning until i got bored of myself and rolled out of bed. I made myself a breakfast burrito with some eggs, shredded taters, sour cream and pico. All in all, it was a pretty good morning. Laid around the house reading the new Adam Carolla book. Popped outside for a few to smoke cigarettes and chat with my lanky neighbor (who I secretly adore). It was great going in, and I felt positive for once.
     The restaurant is a dangerous place, if you're not prepared for just what which way the lines may melt. You very well may go in expecting a down night, but you get caught up in one thing and another and sooner than you know it you're pounding beers left and right. It's a hell of a thing being dragged across the coals. You get a raw deal and don't even know it till you're too far in too pull out.
      It had rained all week, the weather was shit (at least for Los Angeles folks who are scared of everything). Me? Personally.. i love me some fucking rain, some thunder, some dark clouds looming overhead. It means all the sorry fucks lock themselves inside of their house and watch Gilmore Girls or Grey's Anatomy. I have the streets to myself, i have the bars to myself, and most importantly, only those real barflies come out and stake their claim. There's something about smoking a cigarette outside of a bar, in the rain, with the neck of your coat turned up that shakes my bones. Blissful existence.
       Now that the skies had cleared and those poor (not monetary poor) schmucks could creep out of their house, they infested every restaurant, every bar, every known crevice to mankind in this goddamn city. Here i was, shelling out food to these folk. I did it without judgement, after all, their money was a green as the next guys'. But I didn't want to get to know them on a personal level, i didn't want to be their friend or confidant, i just wanted them to come in, to eat, to drink, and then leave. It was that simple, at least to me.
      So it's around 9pm, and i see this dame sitting all by her lonesome at the edge of the bar. The kitchens slammed, and i'm doing the dance, making the moves, pulling out the food at a nice pace, everyones eating, having a good time, and i look up, to see, one of my regular barflies sitting at the kitchen counter (it's an open space) hanging out with his giant mug of beer smiling at me like he just won the lottery. I nod in his direction and yell a few words at him, letting him know i acknowledge his presence in the restaurant, the man, after all, is here more than 3 nights a week, I must make him feel welcomed. I drop my head down and continue slaving away at the next order. When i'm done i look up and see that he's no longer around, i search for him and go out into the dining room, to give the man a proper hand shake and a somewhat genuine welcome. Midway through the dining area, I spot him with the lonely dame at the bar and i divert my course. I walk straight out the front door and light a cigarette. I stamp back and forth across the asphalt and watch him peripherally. He's working his old magic on the dame, that old school work that isn't around anymore. I must admit, the man comes on strong, but he doesn't hide any of his qualms. He knows where he's going and he knows what he wants. I feel like this night is the night where the dynamite fuse met the spark, and chaos will resume after a slight intermission. Excuse me while i retrieve my rum bottle from the cubby.
       Alright, back on track now. So the lonely dame and the barfly hit it off. I watch them casually creep closer and closer, and then i watch him take her face in his hands and kiss her. He kissed her like a sheep needs a Shepard. i was happy for him then. He had frequented our spot for so long and i had no clue what went on outside in his personal life, but the man was scoring tonight. Whatever he was saying, or whatever she was drinking, seemed to do the trick. I cheered secretly inside for him. I continued with my work. The bartender came back and mentioned to me that she was a lesbian, i wondered if this was "here-say" but dismissed it automatically on account that my bartender wasn't one for bullshitting and producing fake stories on false pretenses. So maybe the lonely dame was a lesbian, but on this particular night, my barfly (i now refer to him as mine because he's a character in my account) may have said the right words to get her to loosen up enough for some manly manhandling. I was amazed at the scene.
        They kept drinking, i kept working, the night kept doing what it does. Eventually she got up to headed over to the john and I thought nothing of it. She was in there for awhile.. I figured the dame was adjusting her make-up and washing a few things out (or whatever it is that broads do in the bathroom). My  barfly walked over to the mens room with the smile of a champion. He came out a few minutes later and went back to his seat at the bar. The lonely dame never returned, and finally, my barfly grew weary and tired and hit the streets like any other decent barfly does, in search of his next prey, devouring what he could, dancing around like a spider needs a fly.
      There were two dames sitting over by the pillar that i had been eying for awhile. One had short black hair and a decent looking face, but there was nothing special to her, she was just another broad with broad looks and empty eyes (let's call her empty face). The other dame sitting with her was starry eyed and had an elongated nose, with full lips, a small chin, and looks that would stop a singer mid-song (lets call her Sally). I watched Sally eying me from across the restaurant but i took no stake in it, on account that i had a something steady going on in my life, but i still couldn't help admire a beauty like that from afar. I kept my eye on the duo  dames while i worked and watched them progress through a couple rounds of sangria. They emptied their glasses like two little champions and then empty face got up and walked over towards the bathrooms. She walked into the hall and then walked back out, taking a seat where the barfly had sat earlier. i walked over and started talking to her as she motioned for Sally to come and sit with her. She asked me if i thought Sally was pretty. I responded with a firm yes and started asking her probing questions (where you from? Have you been here before? What do you do? yadda yadda yadda...) The conversation was going nowhere quick, and Sally was no help, dame was lamer than church on Wednesdays. i thought i'd shake things up a bit and told Sally that empty face had asked if i thought she was pretty and i said yes. No response from Sally. Go figure i said, dame over here thinks i'm weird. Sally said she really liked weird, so i responded with a hand slap on the counter claiming i was weirder than the weirdest man she's ever met in her whole life. I expected a laugh, or a slight chuckle or giggle, but was only greeted with a look of disdain and apathy. i asked them what they did (since i knew women always like talking about themselves) and they responded with "oh fashion stuff. i'm and assistant to an assistant, and Sally here, well, she's in school for fashion." i tried to make this work in Sally's angle and said that once out of school she had a go in with the fashion industry, I guess she responded. I had about enough of the shit and walked away casually as empty face got up to check on the bathroom situation again. They flagged me back over and mentioned that someone had been in the bathroom for a long time, and they really needed to pee. i told them to use the guy's restroom if they had to go that bad, but they responded with a look of disgust. they both said that men were absolutely disgusting in their habits, which i laughed at very loud. they asked me why i was laughing, and i mentioned how usually i thought women were more disgusting in their habits. I let the argument drop. i thought about it some, and it was true. I had walked into that bathroom, in my own restaurant, and had seen blood soaked tampons and pads on the floor. now that my dear friends, is gross beyond belief. whats the worse a guy can do other than piss on the seat a bit and shit and not flush? you do know that when you leave your menstrual cycle on the floor that someone has to clean that up? As where when a man pisses on the floor, you mop it, it's gone, or a man doesn't flush, well, you kick the handle and it's gone. it's a no foul no play kinda deal. so what's this dame sweating me about taking a pee in the mens restroom?
       My bartender walked over and mentioned to me that lonely dame was the last one in the bathroom, and that she might be the one holding the situation up. I told empty face that she was probably in there puking (i didn't like her anyway, so her response didn't matter to me). she responded with typical bullshit and asked me to go and open the door for her. i said no, that it was a bathroom, and it was private to whoever went in there last. i mentioned again that the mens room was more than readily available, but she declined. in the end, empty face and Sally walked out, both flustered and angry, making a scene with me about how i wouldn't open the womans restroom to let them pee.
     this is what depressed me. the fact that someone was obviously in there suffering. The lonely dame had a bad night, she was feeling down, she drank a bit too much, okay, that's a given, and she was making out with my barfly, but where in the world does it give the right for one person to put their bladder in front of the well being of another human? Lonely dame is obviously suffering here, and instead of empty face trying to help, being a "sister" or whatever bullshit label girls give to each other, she merely wants to get in close with me so i can open the door to let her pee because she doesn't want to pee in the mens restroom? Who the fuck do you think you are? i hate to disappoint you moron, but that's a goddamn human being in there, puking her fucking guts out, and instead of being sensitive to her situation, you're gonna complain that your bladder hurts? You have the option of peeing in another room and yet you don't take it? i have no sympathy for you. even worse, you want me to go over and open the door on someone who's probably sitting on the toilet passed out drunk? let the dame be drunk. Empty face swears like she's never been in a bad spot before and needed a couple of minutes to get her shit together. i have no sympathy for people like empty face, i hope she gets hit by a goddamn truck doing 90 on the streets. dames like that only think about themselves. and that's the thing, we're all humans here, all i ask for is a little understanding, a little humanity, realizing that she put herself in a bad place, yeah, i get it, but you don't have to carry her home, just give her a minute to collect her nerves and gather enough courage to pull her panties up around her waist. What pisses me off the most is having the option for an out (not the out you want) but an option nonetheless and yet, still having to invade the privacy of a person just so you can piss in a bathroom? i bet if i switched those damn signs around on the doors you wouldn't even notice the difference. why? Because you're that fucking stupid. Whore.
      That's what depresses me in life. Humanity. I can walk into a Starbucks and ask for a glass of water, and be constantly turned down, even if i'm sweating up a storm and dying of thirst, they consistently turn me down. What the fuck? i ask to myself, from one human to another, i'm not being belligerent, i'm not begging your customers for money, all i want is a cup of tap water and you can't even give that to me?  How far have we gone as humans that we can't even hold doors open for old folks anymore? How far have we gone as humans were we honk at someone who is crossing the street in a wheel chair because they are crossing too slow? How far have we gone as humans where we don't tip, or even say thank you? The decline of humanity is perhaps the saddest thing to watch. It's worse than watching the rain forest be cut down, worse than watching dolphins slaughtered in Japan and even worse than claiming to be vegetarian because you don't like the thought of cows dying. You know all those vegetables you eat every day? They were picked by migrant workers who are in that fucking field for 12 hours and don't get paid over time, their hourly wage is half of what you make an hour, so don't sell me that vegetarian for animal cruelty shit. It's worse to exploit a human than it is to exploit an animal, and i hope you choke on a tomato one day. You stupid self indulgent twat.