Goddamn, I Made it Out Alive

 

no one taught me how to love

so I don't really know how.

my parents were drunks

and my brother was greedy

I never knew my grandfather

but he wasn't any better

born into chaos

and living in chaos

is the only way I know how.

seeing the

manipulators

the deceivers

liars

thieves

and whores

who lined the block

I grew up on

with their glittered skirts

and dirty hair

I was no better than them.

but out of that

brewing

was something

that

the others around me didn't have...

- determination -

and for every

heartbreak

and fist thrown

for every scratch

scrape

burn and bruise

I would not let them get me.

there was something holy in that

something pure

knowing that they would never beat me

I was not taller than them

or stronger

or handsomer

or meaner

I was not more likeable

nice

or even kind.

I was smarter than them.

I watched them

cry through their problems

as I fought my way out of them

and figured out

how to avoid destruction.

I am not the best.

and I am not the one.

battered

bruised

and slathered with blood

I'll make it out alive

and goddamn

I'm glad that I survived.