well.. Theres That

and i feel sick
i watch the monkey bang the symbols in his brain
as he works over the solution
so carefully planned out
and becoming the nuisance
becoming obnoxious
becoming real
i drop
everything that i believed
was what i felt
before
always feeling two steps from the finish line
i never get to complete what i always thought was
mine
too soon
in my head it all seems so simple
see what you want
go and do it
the time in between is spent infatuated with what seems alright
but while i lay
alone
at night
i shrivel and chill
shake around like ice cubes in the glass
waiting for the drink to make me feel
alright
no arguments
no kind of waiting time
no desire to be wanted
i want it as it wants me
so essentially we're both parasites
devouring organisms around us
devouring people
eating us all the while we think we're still alive
and i feel sick
above this
i feel tired
tired of runaways putting up all kinds of fronts
tired of these unknowns always wanting what isn't in front
of their eyes
but i know i'm weak
and as soon as the phone rings
i'll pickup
and be the midnight man
driving fast across the city
with a cigarette danging from my lips
and as i watch the parking enforcement signs
i lock my doors
kill the switch
chew some gum
and
i feel sick
so
i walk around
warm and tight
waiting for the one
but
i'm
always two steps from the finish line

The Green Phone and God Part II

the phone rang just now
the green phone
the rotary phone
the dead phone
it was god on the other end
i really couldn't understand what he was saying
receiving only bits and pieces
i could decipher this:
"peanuts... almonds... testicles.. home.. where do we start? uncle... i'm not getting cut... yooo hooo....."
haywire
i asked my uncle what he thought of my situation
he said it's, "okay"
i asked him if i was making the right moves?
he said, "they're okay"
i asked him what he thought of this girl
he said, "she's okay"
"uncle"
"yeah?"
"whats with all the okays?"
"you don't understand do you?"
"eh?"
"none of what you're asking matters"
"eh?"
"if you have to ask, i shouldn't tell you. you know already.. so don't waste our time"
"are you saying that what i'm saying to you is what i already know?"
.......
..
.
.

Less TV

it's quiet
way too quiet
quiet enough
go home
come back tomorrow
and maybe i'll have something for you
but today
quiet
crickets
sprinklers
ice hitting glass
pour
type poor

Why Don't We Take a Walk First

sometime when i was 16
my father asked me to take a ride with him
i sat in the passenger seat
submerging myself in the tan interior
of the big Dodge Diplomat
hanging my arm out of the window
while dad drove
cigarette hanging from his lips
we stopped at the liquor store
and he bought himself a tall can
and a carton of eggs
then we pulled off to the side of the parking lot
and we both got out
"i'm going to teach you how to drive"
"okay"
shit i thought
i was extremely nervous
first off because i was a nervous kid
that's about it
i was a nervous kid
i am a nervous kid
i got in and he leaned over and buckled me up
cigarette still hanging from his lips
he took the eggs and placed them in two paper bags
one bag he placed between my chest and the seat belt
the other he placed between my legs
as he got in the passenger seat, he cracked his beer
instructions were given
the part i remember most was this:
"i want to you drive slow, get used to her, feel her in your finger tips, once you have that in you and it feels natural, press the gas a bit, feel it out, let it open up, speed up.. but always remember those eggs. the eggs between your legs. protect your nuts. don't be a turkey."

i drove home tonight with a paper bag full of eggs between my legs
and didn't even think about them being there
it felt natural
i appreciate it when the pure things in life
come natural
it's as if the universe is smiling down on me
nodding its head
saying
"hey man, you're alright"
damn right