You've Been Immortalized in Words my Dear, Be Proud.

"all you do is talk about drinking, and fucking, and how bad everyone is."
"this is true"
"doesn't it get boring? saying the same things over and over again."
"actually it's challenging; the beauty in it is saying the same thing different ways. it's called Tautology"
"whatever, it's frustrating."
Sara wiggled her sweet little ass into the kitchen and got started on the pumpkin pie.

Jeremy threw the hat onto his knee; watched it hang there, balancing. Understanding her frustration wasn't possible. For him things were black or white, up or down, nothing was ambiguous, everything was defined and straight cut. Jeremy never had to make assumptions about anything, he just did what felt right and pushed forward, all the while valuing humanity and trying to understand why life was so long and filled with so many vacant bodies.

"Hey"
"yeah."
"let me talk to you for a second."
Sara walked back into the living room and put her hair up. Watching her, everything was sweet, her hair always smelled like vanilla and her skin tasted like bubble gum, even the air had a sweetness that trailed behind her after she walked by him. It was like living inside a bubble made of gum, the world was pink and soft, blurry, always giving to the touch, and at first it seemed very comfortable, here in this bubble, but outside those stretched walls of candy, there was a place where you could fall down and scrape a knee, and feel the air rushing into your open cuts and soars, a place where you could get your heart broken and get flowers on the same day. That's where he belonged, but he didn't want to go alone though.

"i want you to come with me"
"where?"
"out there" - he motioned towards the windows, the moon and sun were both out, fighting for day or night, neither one of them wanting to give up at all, but knowing that if they didn't follow the system of this, they'd both plunge into the ocean and die horrible deaths under a sea of empty life boats.
"what are you saying?"
"i want you to go somewhere with me, right now, lets just leave this place for a bit."
"what about the pie?"
"to hell with the pie! this is important, there's a whole living organism out there that you haven't seen. you need to get out there with me, get cut up, lose a little blood and get some scars, get fucked up and wake up in a strange place. we just need to get up!"
"you're being crazy" - she slowly started backing away towards the kitchen, her eyes were bright and big, puzzled look on her face as she twisted her "I'm the Bakers Dozen" apron in her hands.
Jeremy stood up and let his hat fall to the floor, for every step she took back, he went forward, slowly he crept, with his hands creeping up waiting for his words to crescendo.
"i know you don't understand, but i feel it, in here, and it says we need to get out of here now, you and me, we can come back soon, but we you need to trust me, follow me, come with me outside, just be with me, i know you want it like i do, i can feel it running through your veins at night and burning in your eyes, don't look at me like that!"
"but it's cold out there"
"you can have my jacket"
"but i don't want to go. i like it right now, it's warm and cozy, and we'll have pie soon, and i just put up the Halloween decorations, plus i can't waste time, i still have to make the lemon bars and cookies."
"are... you saying.. that you don't want to go.. with me?"
"i can't right now, i don't have the time."
"you can't give me some of it?"
"i told you when you came over that i was busy, i don't have time right now to be doing this."
she stormed off back into the kitchen, back to that goddamn pie, that pie that would never give her anything except self serving gratification. i'd like to see that pie take care of you when you get sick, or that pie rub your head until you fall asleep, or that pie make love to you on the edge of the bed like i do.
goddamn pie.
Jeremy walked over and picked up his hat.
"ok then, well, i'm gonna go."
"you don't have to leave"
"it's better i should, we can talk tomorrow, goodnight."

They embraced and held it longer than usual. He felt inside that they would never embrace like this again, and that she wouldn't ever understand what he felt, what he meant, what he saw through those alcohol soaked eyes. Everything burned, the city went up in flames and the people remained calm, because they never felt anything, the people were tools, empty vacant bodies equipped with a minimum internal temperature. Although they were warm to the touch, their hearts were cold and filled with bile. Through alcohol soaked eyes Jeremy could see clearly, nothing was floating, everything bolted to the ground, everything had a home, a place, even chaos was marked with the frail sympathy of order. He sometimes wished he was born slightly more blind to the world, so beauty was always beauty, even when marked with hate. If he didn't wallow in his self perpetuating desire to be a deviant bastard, then he would never be anything more than those vacant bodies soaked in cologne waiting to be ignited.

When Jeremy walked out the door, never looking back, he felt a small pain grasp him inside. He went on a heavy bender that night, staying out until the bars closed and then drinking alone inside of his car listening to the night roar.

He went back to Sara's the next day and knocked on her door. He knocked and knocked, called her several times and began to get worried. A neighbor stepped out with his laundry bag and began locking his door.
"hey man,"
"hey Jeremy, what's up man how's it hanging?"
"i'm good, i'm good.. do you know if Sara left? Her cars down in the parking lot but she's not answering the door."
"you want to climb over to the balcony from my apartment?"
"yeah, thanks Buddy, that would be great."
When Jeremy finally made it over the railing he looked in through the glass. He pushed the doors open and walked into the room.
Sara lay there, on the couch, with a small trickle of blood coming out of her mouth.
The apartment had been filling with carbon monoxide the whole time they were talking, and after Jeremy left she felt sleepy and decided to lay down on the couch.
a tear rode its way down Jeremy's cheek as he kissed her forehead.
"You've been immortalized in words my dear, be proud."
and she was.