I do Believe it's Working My Dear

the room felt very warm then. The green walls melted together along with the yellow molding, it seemed like the walls were dripping but the temperature hadn't gone up. we sat there for a bit, she doing her thing, me with my hat drawn over my eyes, protecting me from the light, the light had a way of killing me; something in that thought process led me to the conclusion about life, and that in it's own made me feel like the top of my skull cracked a bit and the air rushed in, like a fresh knee scrape, but atop of my balding head.
      i thought of life clutter, the way to distract yourself from the reality that really is what is in front of you. You're alone, and the feeling of being alone and solitary isn't for everyone, it's a fear, like eating something that you're weary of putting in your body, and upon realizing this, a cold chill comes over your body and your mind melts into your skull, you feel that at any moment, you may have to run to the bathroom to throw up (if not out of your mouth, then out of your ass). it's a feeling that nobody every becomes fully content with. So to deviate from that fear, people tend to fill their life with little preoccupations that eventually take you away from what you really need to be doing, and that is to think about yourself as a person, your involvement in humanity, your participation in life (and others lives) and the actions (or reactions) you take in thought processing.
      distractions fill the life. You join a worthless fight. You join a gym. You start a blog (stupid of me i know) or you join a group of lost humanless people with the same problems. You become an empty person who fills their lives with worthless fights that don't change anything, because in the end, your voice doesn't really matter, no matter how loud you shout, or how many of you shout, the ones on top have the power, and your  push forward is all in vain, because they control, and every once and a while they let you steer, to give the perception of catharticism and involvement in their little game.
      i feel like the only true answer is to carve out a little space in this fucked up world that can make you happy. the less you have, the better off you are. Who needs Halloween decorations? who needs to carve an overpriced pumpkin that probably one of my cousins picked from a farm owned by a bank, paid a salary that's way lower than normal living, but he's forced to do so in an order to survive and carve out his own little space. The situation fucked, no matter how you look at it, but the key to true happiness is knowing that you're fucked, but figuring just how to work the system in your advantage. the true strength of a man (or a woman) depends on how little it takes for you to live and be happy. your brain can operate at a higher degree, but the less you have in front of you to take you away, the more you have in your skull to bring you home. If you don't have the internet, you're not forced to watch shitty videos on youtube about some dickhead hitting himself with a car, and if you don't have a TV, then you don't have to listen to morons like Glen Miller vainly ranting about being an american, when being an american is like being the last kid picked at a baseball game at the sandlot. If you don't have a phone, nobody calls you when their in trouble, but when thing are good, they'll show up to share a drink, share some food, or just drop by to say hello. If you take yourself away from all of this bullshit, then maybe, somehow, you'll have time to think about how your decisions effect other people who are in important in your life, and how even one of your little moves, can fuck up the jinga tower.
      in the end, you've got a choice, you can dream with the dreamers, or find a way to live in this shitty place full of constant bullshit, but still be happy knowing that you've somehow worked out a way to believe in something, love in someone, and treat the right ones right, and instead of treating the bad ones with hate, you just simply write them out of your life, because they will never learn, and constantly be distracted, and no matter what you do you'll never change them, but they'll forever live, in the blindness of shiny, fancy, table bottle service, ed hardy, vegetarian, save the plants, but fuck other people lives.

that in itself, is a life sentence to ignorance.
while your solidarity can only lead the mind to either insanity, or clarity.