The Hearts of Men

I'm not tall,
I'm not handsome,
I'm not good looking at all.
I don't have a nice smile
i don't have a great attitude,
neither do I have money
a sign of upancomings,
or any kind of stature.
I'm losing my hair
at the tender age of  25,
I thought this shit wasn't suppose to happen until i'm 30 at least?
but better than i know
i'm losing it now,
than losing it at 35
or 40
and create some kind of bullshit
mid-life crisis
or 1/4 life crisis (which only fools have)
to try and feel better about themselves.
I'm tired,
I tolerate everything
my job
my girlfriend
my friends
my life,
because i have to.
I have to tolerate all this shit.
and that in itself
proves a mans worth.
We have no choice to.
If not, we'd end up like Thoreau
writing some sorry collections of words.
Stringing together some bullshit recollection of how things should be
and how we can't live with them.
So we have two choices now,
either we move away from all the bullshit
and eventually become Ted Kaczynski
or we learn to live with it.
I want to love (which is a preconceived notion planted in our heads by society)
I really don't think you understand it.
We are not manwhores
we are not bad people
that's just your inner defense pushing us away
but sooner than later
we'll stop being patient with you
and just walk away
because that's what we do.
Don't be so cynical
or jaded
you're getting old and i can see it
from here
don't be such a bitch
so bad inside as a person
we're trying the best we can
the hardest we can push
and if that's not enough for you
than go fuck with somebody else's life
because at least
at the end
we can say
we did everything in our power to make you happy.
Do you know
how fucking lucky you even are?
in this time and age
to have a guy who will even listen to your babbling bullshit?
We're trying to be good
but your cynicism makes us bad
so you
EVE
made us eat the apple
that damned us forever
and it goes on
for ages and ages
until we can't go with you any further
and we hate you
you made us hate you
with your jealousy
with your lousy stupid attitude
with your questions
with your stupid fights over nothing
with you wanting us to be respectful
but still be men.
We are men
trying to be good to you
and you're so fucking blind
that you can't even see that.
and when we walk away
from a bad situation
we are damned the bad men in this
when in reality
you did nothing to help
you did nothing to understand
you only pushed
and pushed
and fucking pushed
us until we were gone
and you have no one to blame
but your fucked up self
you in the inside are rotten
while at least we make an attempt to be good.
we try
we try oh so hard
you on the other hand
just expect.
expect everything.
and that,
well,
i could be honest
but i rather be good.
that's just rotten to the core.
you've got worms
infecting your brain
and your head should be fumigated.
don't be so horrible
don't expect us to be perfect
because we're not
but at least we fucking TRY
we TRY to be the guy you could love
while we
we have to love you for all your faults
all your fucked up inhibitions
all your badness
while you only point out the badness in us.
we want to love you fully
completely
utterly until death
but you
are the one who complicates
everything
and this.
this.
this.
leaves us with no choice
but to be dicks.