De-constructing EchoChrome

       I was never a big gamer growing up. the last game system i owned was a Sega Genesis, and even that took major pleading and begging from my mother. i brought home all those good grades she wanted, i mowed the lawn with a push mower for a year straight every weekend. the push mower was this big deal with rusted blades and wobbly wheels. it took twice as much force to push that thing now than when it did when it was new. i sprayed some WD40 on the wheels and blades to get them going, but my dad thought it built character to work hard, so he started hiding the lubricating sprays from me, so i had no choice but to secretly lubricate the mower late at night with cooking oil. while other kids were out playing hockey in the street, or shooting jacks, or marbles, playing pogs or showing their private parts to the neighborhood slut, or whatever it was that they did, i was in the backyard pushing that goddamn mower every saturday morning just so i could get my hands on a 3 button controller with a direction pad. i could hear kids laughing in the street as i pushed that mower up and down our backyard which ran at a slight incline. down i'd go, rushing away with fury, and then i'd make the turn and go up that small hill. i wasn't even smoking cigarettes then, but as i reached the top of that small incline i would be gasping for air, all the while, i'd hear my neighbors mad with laughter over the high fence that i couldn't see. when i was done with the push mower my dad would have me get down on my knees and go around the yard cutting the edges with a pair of scissors. he was big on attention to detail and doing things the right way the first time. i specifically remember one random day that he was out organizing the backyard (he was a plumber, and our backyard had a section that looked like the graveyard for kitchens, bathrooms, and anything you could guess.) i had enough that day, i wasn't going to mow the lawn anymore. i let the push mower fall to the ground and yelled out as loud as i could, "this is fucking bullshit!" he dropped a bundle of pipes on the grass and walked over to me. this big, 220lbs man with fingers as thick as sausages and shoulders broader than a linebacker starred me down. He came close to me, and i could smell the beer on this breath as he towered over my small 12 year old body.
"What!?"
"I said, This is fucking bullshit!"
     it's funny when someone punches you in the face, you don't feel it for the first couple of seconds, and you slowly start to get pain growing. my face burned and my eyes started to water. i tumbled backwards and fell literally head over heels. When i stood up, i spit the blood out of my mouth and picked the mower back up, forever forsaken to my damnation. there was no way out then. i guess this was growing up, working for what you wanted, being alone in your hell only to get a small piece of paradise.little did i know then, that even after i had my Sega Genesis, i would still be mowing that lawn late into my teens.
      After that round of bullshit i never wanted a game system again. i would still mow that godforsaken lawn, but instead, at then end of that long haul, i would grab a book from the living room and sit outside in the grass basking the sun. i no longer wanted to go out and play, that was a dream forgotten, but i much rather enjoy pushing the outside world out even further and retreating to my head. even when i got the Sega Genesis for my birthday it wasn't a big thing, i played it for awhile and then let it sit there collecting dust. it felt like a waste of time.
       flash forward to 13 years later. i live in an awesome apartment that i share with my brother, and i have enough money now to do whatever the hell i want. i can drink fine whiskey, eat good food, and swoon beautiful woman. but all those things involved other human beings, and we all know how i feel about humans. so when the opportunity arose to purchase the Playstation 3, i jumped at it and never had a second thought (date 2010).
       i'm not one for role playing games. as i think it's just a virtual world for you to get lost in and dump all your problems at the doorstep and never come to terms with them. i don't feel like leaving all my shit outside and feeling better about myself by zoning out on World of Warcraft or some other bullshit time wasting game. i wanted a game that was unique and would challenge me. i wanted puzzles and mazes, i wanted to use my brain for more than wondering if the "magic cloak" or the "sorceress spell" would work better on defeating the gnomes.
       and then i found EchoChrome. i could explain it to you, but if you're worth your salt you're gonna google that shit and figure out the explanation for yourself. if you're lazy and don't feel like doing so, then i suggest you stop reading now, as i don't have any sympathy for somebody who hasn't got 5 minutes to Wikipedia it.
     go on, look it up, understand it a bit.
     it was late one night, i had a nice bottle of scotch next to me and i was on a roll with the game. i laughed at how much time somebody could take to put the puzzle together and i could solve it in under 5 minutes (averaged). i started to think about the game in terms of life, and came up with a rationalization that didn't sound halfway crazy.
      in EchoChrome you don't direct the character, as he walks in the direction he wants as much as he wants, but rather you manipulate the environment to have him reach his shadow. i know it's pretentious to base life on a stupid video game, but i felt that i'm on to something here.
      i spent a long and hard time looking at myself and working to make me a better human. humans are so shitty, we fuck a hole in everything, we're controlled by greed, we lie, cheat, steal, manipulate and work every angle to get what we want. and even if we don't know it, we're controlled by our nature that's been programmed into us by our parents. once you know all of these things, you can start taking yourself apart and putting yourself back together in order to make those right choices, in order to find truth, in order to speak out against the bad humans, and embrace those good people. the argument against this is how do we know who the good people are? i could give you a long list, but if you're reading this shit, then more than likely we share the same thoughts and you halfway can understand what i'm saying. i don't have to spell it out for you.. if you don't know what i'm talking about then you probably should start using the paper these words are printed on to wipe your ass, because no amount of words will ever change you. YOU SUCK!
     anyway, to bring my point home. Once you feel that your humanity level is high enough to understand your environment and the people around you, then it's time to stop feeling bad. you are that small man in EchoChrome  walking the path. Instead of trying to accept people that you shouldn't even be around, it's time to start changing your environment and getting away from them, you'll soon see that you'll become a happier person by picking and choosing where it is exactly you want to be. you have to change those things to suit your needs, and if whoever it is only makes you feel bad, than that's the person you need to get rid of. Life is a house, you need to setup that comfort for you to feel good about IT without screwing other people over. the big one here is being considerate of other humans even if they are shit, but you've got to let them know that what they are doing to encroach on your life is bothering you. They are that small hole, and you've go to find a way to jump over it or block it out of your path. If you do happen to fall down that hole, just make sure that wherever it is you fall, there's a solid place for you to land on. The problem with comfort is that once you've established it, you get lost in it. So we're at the top of a triangle and you may very well tip over and fall into oblivion if you don't find that balance.
      In terms of myself, i have no problem being alone. But i know that if i'm alone for too long, my thoughts start to go off on these weird tangents and i very well may lose my focus along with my mind. The small group of people i let into my life gets smaller and smaller by the day. but these are people that i know are not full of shit and won't let me drown when the chips are down. i will never be comfortable and i hope to never stop fighting, but you fight with better energy when you don't have the energy suckers around you. for so long i had these bullshit women sucking at my teat of life, and i felt forever drained, forever angry, and forever cursed in my own hell. but all of that was my own fault for letting them get that far in. There is a wall here now, and several guards with shotguns, blow torches, pistols, grenades and every weapon you can think of. interrogations are an everyday thing. there's no way i'm going to let you grab a piece of me. i control this small world and can move the walls, move the holes, and move you out of the way if i want to. You no longer own me, as i don't own myself, i am merely walking through this shitty place we call a world, but i'm going to manipulate the environment to the proper degree in order to keep me moving. if you slow my pace, then i have no sympathy for you, as you are merely but a line drawn in the sand on a windy day. You'll be gone soon enough.