ThrowAway LLC.

thank you for expressing an interest in ThrowAway.

Ladies? Boyfriend just dump you? Cheat on you? Call you a lying malicious whore? well, our men here at ThrowAway are happy to assist you on the road to recovery and ego boost. We'll have you feeling good and ready to live a happy single life with no attachments in a short amount of time.

What exactly do we do?

we provide you with a service that no other can. ready? ok. Here's how it works:

-you break up with your boyfriend
-we send one of our men over (side note, all men are pre-screened and tested. smart, witty, and good natured. a fine lover and a hell of a considerate guy. guaranteed to sit there and listen to you ramble on about your self indulgent life that is without meaning.)
-they cook, pick you up from work, surprise visits, send flowers, write sappy love poems, will lick your vagina clean in 20 seconds or 20 minutes and can sexually service you in whatever way you see fit.
-call them night or day! they will stand by your side like a good man should, but without all that messy attachment that you ladies don't enjoy.
-once you're feeling better about yourself and can get up and move around, start hitting the clubs and feel your ego boost just a little bit higher on the chart. you are guaranteed to forget about our man.

keep them as long as you like! or until you work things out with your boyfriend. don't worry about lying to them ladies, our men all know it's not your fault that you lie, connive and deceive. so they won't ever be surprised when you no longer call them or just want to be their friend. all we ask is that during the duration of their stay, you dangle the carrot in front of their faces so they can feel a little tinge of passion in their hearts. once done with them, don't try to be their friends because they must move on and provide this service to other confused women just like you.

-thank you for business
sincerely
Jerome Dillinger Cervantes

p.s.- it looks as though the ladies have been abusing our men and upon returning to the office they seem very lifeless and genuinely hurt. we now ask that once done with your man, please walk him out your front door and give him a final kiss.

then shoot him in the chest and kick him to the curb.
-call our 1800 number, a tech will be buy to pick him up.


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you're fucking laughing aren't you? it's funny isn't it? oh no, people aren't really like that, we never meant to have that happen, it was just suppose to be... blah blah blah
listen:

we all secretly hate you.