the Mid-Break

as the nights come down
bleeding into delirium
the wives all lock their doors
and the husbands load their guns
as the children lay in bed
with feeding tubes hooked to their mouths.
the teenagers make it out the windows
and into parks
meeting with others to neck behind trees
to let their hands wander all over
in excitement
oh, joy, the frail whimpers of optimism
as his hands nervously claw at her bra clasp
as the nights continue to blend
after a long while, the tv's get turned out
and books get closed
people wrap their arms, entangled, under felt sheets
melting together,
becoming one single entity
breathing simultaneously
and i sit
in front of the machine
recording all of it
full of envy
feeling empty
as a marked man.
and i'm left
out on the stoop
waiting for the mid-break
that small moment,
when the night becomes as possibly cold as it can,
the frost has formed on cars, leaves, my cigarette
and even me
shaking from this
excited by it
and then it happens
that first small light coming over the hills
first beam bringing warmth
like a hot sexual breath on the back of your neck
and i tingle all over
as it unfolds
nothing
will duplicate this moment
and i hold it close to me
wrapping my arms around myself
i am content with knowing
that this happens
everyday
and it is my moment
for me
a present to myself.
but i am also ridden with sadness,
knowing that so many people
everywhere
are asleep at this time
so they can make it to work
before the boss catches them coming in the back door...
getting up
and stepping inside
i push the button on the coffee maker
hearing the first "putt putt"
and stream of luscious liquid hitting glass
and i stop,
think to myself,
"someone else was watching that with me, i wonder if they felt it too?"
do you feel?
i know i do.