One for Karen

and as all the previous passengers gawked at our disgrace, we held our heads high above the water line gasping for every breath. i sank under for a minute to retrieve our bottle which hand sunk to the bottom of the tanker and through the water i could hear your frail gasp and whimpers for fresh drink. i have become triumphant i screamed! drink is here, consume my little one and fight off fatigue for another day! we are laying here remotely in a sea of despair with only our inner beings to fend off the dogs that attack the bay of our sanity! we are living in a world of fools and miserable pricks and somehow we still find the passion and desire to turn this world around on its ass.. i was sweating now as i recited this to her and her head still bobbing above the water line.. the passengers just turned their noses up at us and i screamed go fuck yourselves you dirty pricks, i got my lady and this bottle and it's going to take a lot more than a dirty look from your eyes to collapse my soul and break me into compartments. now hear me now people, you uninteresting souls! this is my woman, and i refuse to take any guff from you fucking swine! may the devil pick out my eyeballs and serve them on a platter to jesus christ himself for all i care! i will fight this until the end.
and then i kissed her
and she melted
when i emerged soaked and drenched from a voracious night of sexually desires my knees were jelly and my spine had become slightly curved.
i would never be the same again.
the sun would never beat down into me again and the rain would never be soaked into my trousers the same again, my vision and destitute would all be eradicated, the warmness washing over me in waves as i sat upon the stool in the middle of the street waiting for the cars to maneuver around me, cigarette dangling from my lips, and empty bottle still clenched in my fist, we had taken the night and made her roar with pure ecstasy and joy, no one could ever take that from us, those pail, fragile moments tucked away in the small crevice of that humongous apartment building, it would never be the same again, after something like this, a man expects this from every woman, and that, in turn, may be his downfall, for if something great is given to him at early time in his life he expects everything after that to be equally full of greatness or else you better raise the water level in the fucking tank! it's a good and a bad, a natural disaster for a young man full of lust and wine to compare any woman to the one before them, he will only swim in failure and let down after those events, and with each notch taken off of his belt, sanity will go with it.
now the water was rising in the tank and their kicks against the current were to no avail, i screamed to her, now leave my dear, you need to go away from here, you have plans and desires that cannot be fulfilled here, leave for the other coast and you will always live in a small part of my brain, you've carved out your own little piece.
but i will miss you she cried
and i as well i yelled
when shall i return?
whenever the water levels out and we can not displace so much of it at one time in one sitting in this one tank
she left then and the space dwindled, it was shallow in the tank now, and i stood there, empty bottle, broken cigarette, and shivering from cold
i was alone again
and it was time to once again search for another one to displace the tank
until she returned
and who knows when that will be?
not her
and not me