Dance Little Dinosaur Dance

somewhere
at the clay covered calling
i heard her wailing
between the moans
in the throws of passion
and i couldn't come running
because her sighs
were hallow and vague
destined to
never
be
heard
by the pure
i constantly lost the battle
wait
not battle
but bottle
i constantly lost the bottle
so duct taping it to my hands
i made new friends
Buchanas, Glenfiddich and Glenlivet
who sat at my side
and didn't want more
than what i could give them
some sneer
call me drunk, cynic, self destructive and negative
perhaps
in your eyes
all of your eyes
you see me as this
but how else is someone to deal
with this deck of cards
that constantly ask to up the ante?
but never play me a good hand
the game is rigged
and the worthy suffer alone
in their apartments
typing at their machines
with fever and devotion
knowing that somehow
this will all work itself out
if not on paper
or in our minds
if not on examples
of human life
you're left with
despair, angst, chaos
and the only way to make any sense
of this devastating humanity
is to write it all down
and stroke yourself
constantly
without remorse
or rue
but when the chips are down
some give up
walk away
and find another source
to feed themselves
and feel important
this is just bullshit to make you feel somewhat worthy
influential in this holding cell they call life
when you know that the problem is not them
but you
and your inward mutilation
of the heart
which you do not listen
or
heed
once the good people leave your side
and you're left alone
to figure this out
on your own
you become scared
and latch onto whatever you can
to make you big again
and these false realities
you create
will hold you momentarily
but one day
your tits will sag
your cellulite will multiply by the dozens
the face they all once loved
will wrinkle and decay
she'll realize
she
will
that all those men
that passed through her life
pretending to listen to her struggle
only wanted to shove their cock
in her mouth
and cum on her chest
fuck her on a drunken night
and never be heard from
again.
typical of the male
but you are typical female
so you get what you deserve
be it semen on the face
or loneliness you try to placate
and the one man
who would tolerate
your fickle being
has gone somewhere new
you said, "no"
when he offered to bring you along
and now that his struggle
which has been tired and trying
devastating at every turn
finally reaches its resting place
you want to jump back in
even though you left at the bad turn
he will let you ride with him
and then
without any remorse
push you out of the moving car
so that the pixies can have their way
with you
but you'll never learn
no you won't
because your mind is steel trap
the doors are always shut
he has more luck
trying to convince a donkey to quack
then to have you realize
who you are
is but a carbon copy of a copy of a copy of a copy
of an unoriginal thought
so you will never comprehend
that
you are dying
with every moment