Cyclical

maybe a year and a half ago, i laid down with a girl, who was on her way to being married to a marine. i asked her not to marry "him" but with reason, not to marry me. she pursued what she did, and felt proud doing so. i sat by, knowing that she didn't belong there. she laughed, and loved, sometimes we'd sit and wonder why we weren't a couple. i gave up on her and finally moved forth. i traveled the best i could, examining everything i could get my hands on, and somehow, maybe not because of my bad vibes, they didn't work out. the girl is alone now, wondering when i'm filling space? i don't feel bad for her, because she was one of many. and now, i am at this place, where the girl i saw, who requested her own space, is now probably entangled in the arms of someone who by far doesn't deserve her.

this is where it gets good.

it came to me out of nowhere. and it felt good when it came. an awesome wave of relief washing over me. this girl, the now girl, lets call her "sara" is cradled in the arms of some shit bag. but a year from now, or maybe ten years from now, you're going to wake up and realize this shit bag is a shit bag. you'll look around and wonder where you went wrong. that's the best part for me, maybe i'm left, here, holding the shit stick on my own, but at least i believe in my faille, which is way more than yourself. i get it now. there's no way to describe it, you'll always be you, which is a fable character to begin with, your fickle love is transfered over by your own greed and well being, which is fantastic considering you try and spread your good graces all over everyone and make everything breathing being your friend. i get it now there's no better way to describe it. and the fact that you read my rambling bullshit means that you want to get it. but you never will because your brain is overclouded with you. and you and you and you and you it's all about you. how sad.