well.. Theres That

and i feel sick
i watch the monkey bang the symbols in his brain
as he works over the solution
so carefully planned out
and becoming the nuisance
becoming obnoxious
becoming real
i drop
everything that i believed
was what i felt
before
always feeling two steps from the finish line
i never get to complete what i always thought was
mine
too soon
in my head it all seems so simple
see what you want
go and do it
the time in between is spent infatuated with what seems alright
but while i lay
alone
at night
i shrivel and chill
shake around like ice cubes in the glass
waiting for the drink to make me feel
alright
no arguments
no kind of waiting time
no desire to be wanted
i want it as it wants me
so essentially we're both parasites
devouring organisms around us
devouring people
eating us all the while we think we're still alive
and i feel sick
above this
i feel tired
tired of runaways putting up all kinds of fronts
tired of these unknowns always wanting what isn't in front
of their eyes
but i know i'm weak
and as soon as the phone rings
i'll pickup
and be the midnight man
driving fast across the city
with a cigarette danging from my lips
and as i watch the parking enforcement signs
i lock my doors
kill the switch
chew some gum
and
i feel sick
so
i walk around
warm and tight
waiting for the one
but
i'm
always two steps from the finish line