Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy
Submissive to everything, open, listening
Try never get drunk outside your own house
Be in love with your life
Something that you feel will find its own form
Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
Blow as deep as you want to blow
Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
The unspeakable visions of the individual
No time for poetry but exactly what is
Visionary tics shivering in the chest
In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
Like Proust be an old teahead of time
Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
Write in recollection and amazement for yrself
Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
Accept loss forever
Believe in the holy contour of life
Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
You're a Genius all the time
Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

- thank you jack
and cody

tonight
we both sat motionless in the midst of everything
both staring
at the sad, sorry ceiling
like if the answers were hidden in the tiles
i saw you smile twice in my general direction
as he was off to the bathroom
but i didn't acknowledge your razor stare
tearing into me
i'll call you once
i'll call you twice
and i'll be your midnight man
it's no fun this way
at least not now
after i've been all across your symphony
somewhat deranged
and you leave even before i get the chance
to offer you a stay
but everyone's hanging around your place
so you have to get home and show your face
i'll never see you again
and i want some of that gain
but to you i'm just
a midnight man

And I WIll Continue To...

lots of maybes
lost of because
my wants + needs=
no malarkey
consistency
i understand your movements
understand mine
compromise?
serious love triangle
you cum here
as much as i cum there
you give 1
for my every 2
it seems very middle of the road
i always meet halfway
at least in my eyes
there's lots of pride built up in this place
i know
which way i move
which way i do
which way i touch
which way i caress
will be right
and i'll keep running through all of you
until one of you
you
prove my fight
the struggle is half the battle
the brick is all the battle
when you concentrate on one
that's usually the one
that will let you down
when you spread yourself thin
you don't give yourself
to any of it.

once i push far
i want more
and each time
i push a little farther
to replicate the original feeling
because it was that good
i want it to last
to put it in my pocket and hold on to it
to feel
like i felt before

Round Dos

i can't express
your unbeknown shiftiness
i wanted to say shitiness
but the English language spell check refuses to acknowledged
"shit"
as a word
sad
i don't think any of you will ever understand what it's like
to look into someones face and feel constant liar
constant bullshit
constant
constant
constant
constant
immediate
lack of consideration
i must write this down
or one day
i'll walk out of the kitchen
with paco's aluminum bat held tight in my hands
and go after the mirrors
go after the beer tab
go after the sangria glass
and break it all apart
sometimes nothing would make me happier
than throwing a chair through a plate glass window
theres love in here somewhere
and i hide it well
i'm waiting
wondering
hoping
for the next one
to show me that this isn't all so sick
to prove that maybe what i'm thinking
isn't so bad after all
maybe i just need a hug
a stupid small sign of affection
something to show me that this place
isn't filled with horrible people
like i think it is
maybe i just need someone to drop their shit
like i dropped mine
but you always prove me wrong
fuck it
i'm young
maybe this is just now
and that's cool
i guess

of Freaking Course

of course you like this
you like that
you like how everything fits in this nice little basket
everything "neat"
if i were to choke
and die
right at this time
i wouldn't deny
anything i ever said
you know me
i don't hide anything
i put it all out there
and its sad that people don't have the balls
to be themselves
to withstand the current of bullshit
washing over you
and why is this place filled with so many shitty people?
especially the ones that say they are "good"
happen to be the worst off of them all
i don't support any causes
because in all of them
is a little nazi in the leaders heart
and i don't support nazi's
or hypocrites
or plagiarism
or unoriginal thought
or stupid macho energy
or bullshit that is said to say to help people who want to say something
take a second
look through your lens
everything around you is destructible
and we have no choice but to live here
we have to
have to
HAVE TO
live here
so we can either die off into the air
or come to terms with this constant
immediate
definite
burden
die slow
sleep tight
live hard
and push your face against the plate glass
and taste skin
it's been awhile
come back cody
i miss you

I Am Only Entertainment

in everything worth thinking about
i ask, "where is this going?"
some precious items
for which I'd give a piece of my soul
are tools using tools
devices for our minds to convince ourselves
who's wrong and who's right
for everything not worth anyone
i ingest what is needed
to make me whole again
and just like the ones before
i move to the left
and let you fall
off
this cliff
then you wonder why
i
let you
be caught by someone else
who will just as fast let you go
after they've taken exactly what they want
and you've been drained of anything
that makes you whole
but alas
it is my own fault
for choosing the faulty
and i know why
because you give me something to write about
you prove everything that I've ever assumed
is correct
your opinions change like the weather
your soul is nonexistent
your desire lays directly inline with your own greed
with your own emotional well being
with your own mistakes
which are not necessary for you to execute
if you were a person
with some kind of conscious or moral value
or value at all for that matter
so it's sad for me to look in those eyes
one after another
and see the same things
see the same apathy
the exact hollowness right down into your heart
which is sour as rotten apples
and who am i to talk out of mouth?
divulge all the information that will turn you away
because its the truth
and you know it
but you drink and dance
and want to feel out of control
in order to blame others for your own faulty wiring
"should i feel bad?"
yes
fuck you
and
it's like you're all in line
to get hit with the brick of truth
and i won't be scared to throw the first one
right into your dead eyes
because you don't fucking feel anyway
right?
right.