These Fucking Dogs Won't Quit

the same mouth and eyes
working, figuring, twitching and moving
changing out one mask for another
souls
beneath brush
underlying symbolism for one
defiance for another
brutality and disillusioned
love
and yet,
here we are again
working. the puncher of clocks
the brick of truth
shall strike again
Dominance, fear and persuasion
repulsion
as your curl up and slide to the end
of the
bed
it all goes down
killing our bodies to support this dying system
which will not breed without an extra organ
without an extra smile
or heart
and the system dies
so we die
but to live
possessions
don't hold moments
like when you are
taking a step back
to view infinite space
and just exactly how little we mean
relatively
and yet
here we are again
choices for the wise and good of heart
suicide is way too much work
apathy is hopeless
cope - and do what it takes to keep your heart in tact
you only get one
exercise it the best you can
to find rhythm
to smell
to feel soft skin running over ribcage
to grip hips
to dance together in the living room
like a couple of fools....

i
we.
us.

and yet
here we are
kicking and screaming
clawing our way to the top of this make believe
horror we call home
either take your own life
or smile at what you can
and laugh at what it can't
and cry when you need
but most important
remember
here
we
are
alone

I Must See a Man About a Boat

as i stepped out of the bar, into the dividing sunlight, i clenched my eyes closed, waiting for those little road maps to appear, when you rub your eyes into their sockets extra hard and your temple hardens. reaching into my pocket and fishing for the lighter i pulled a cigarette.. lighting it backwards, i knew for damn sure driving or even walking was out of the question at this point. stumbling down hill on an upward slop i took a piece of my being and rested it upon the beer stained shirt i was wearing... taking a stop dash dash Morse code stop from the phone line i dabbled in nonexistence for awhile. walking around holding my gut, like the man before me. i thought about all of this not all at once but a piece. this piece, this place right now.. having things constantly dissipating into the atmosphere.. being here only if it felt like it belonged or it adhered to my soul, as if the continuation of something this solid could not be for a limited time only we dance with our fist in the air, sooner or later our arms become tired and we get real jobs, with ties and tucked in shirts, real jobs where we must be professional and speak with posh, defined by our worst days and ignored on our victories, defeated constantly to be kept underfoot. rules are bullshit made up to scare you. if a man becomes to brave his pride cometh before the fall.. but if a man cannot stand on his proper foot, he will be taken aside and shot like cattle, devoured and reimbursed into feed and shown the good time that no one understands.

i breathed hard
i panted deep
i held the wall
to forgive me
i am merely a being
beating on this earth
we are nothing here
no one understands that
this structure is built in order for you to lose
the greedy profit
the good die young
the anarchist live alone
and the social order must be passed on
how is it
that a man can find something solid
beyond himself
if everything here
has no worth?
smile
it's all we got
love
and fuck like it's your last
look into their eyes like it's your last
drink like it's your last
and kiss her like it's the last
make love to her
like it'll never be this way again
like if you stepped out that door
you'd be hit by a truck
the last thing you want on your mind is...
"i should of...."
give
like no tomorrow
and realize
good
bad
it's all how you look at it

There's a Beauty in this Room

Tomorrow died already
so did the day after and before that
time slips like roachs in this hotel room
and time slips like memories i can't stand...
broken windows and torn screens
the flies come in and muse on me
these words
are the only thing driving a man from madness
i hope nobody ever likes them
i hope you all think i suck
because the more you hate me
the more you despise what i do
the more you think i'm a bad man
i know me for sure
i have this good heart beating in my chest
this good heart that doesn't let me think
but make rash decisions at point
i am weird
and i am conflicted
and i am a hypocritical
but everyone is
may all the fairies dance
upon my head while i sleep
and may you show up one day
at work
at my home
at my bedroom window
and surprise me
may you breath upon my neck
and rub your lips against my cheek
hold me tight
it's the only good thing that won't spoil
for as much torment in this mans soul
i won't ever do wrong to anyone who doesn't deserve
to be
urinated upon.

My Scotch Soaked Soul is Damn Near Honest

merely a man
living somewhat out of context
but living nonetheless
wiping the sweat of my palm
on the back of my pants
and evaporating those tears
with my handkerchief
this city will eat you alive
it's true
constantly feeling preyed upon
vultures in the dysert
priest in their tombs
this life
this life
it's all about timing
the right time to sigh
the right time to breath
the right time to run your hands through her hair
and the right time to leave
the time to show up
and the time to hold back
i want to kiss you tonight
but i know that i cant
and yes it's true
rhyming poetry sucks
you read this now
and think, "who the fuck is this schmuck"
you see what i did?
i am aware
i fit into this mold sometimes
like an ass into the perfect cross breeze chair
lets get down to brass tacks....
this life
this life
i want it to get worse
i want my bad days to turn into horror
to scare me and bring fear
to make me want to curl into a ball and stress the fuck out
but
alas
in those times
true beauty will arise
because out of horror
develops chances
a chance to be
and a chance to love
a chance to be prolific
and not dispose of my words
upon this computer
hollow and dead
this computer that has no emotion
no natural ability for anything
other than to follow my way
one time
i will have you
and remember that forever
i look forward to it
but don't expect it to ever happen
it will if it does
until then,
i'm the guy with his hands in his pockets
sucking on his beer
knowing you want me
knowing you need me
knowing exactly whats going on
but just waiting
for the
time
in this life
in this life

Feast Your Eyes

paws reach for glass
down bottle
paws reach for distances
unimaginable
yes the days are long
and i enjoy them so
yes the days are difficult
but not tolerable
enjoyable
definable
every small morsel
as i lick the plate clean
feasting on your eyes

you want the next one to take me
as they pour sand down my ear
and i awake jamming my fingers
into my brain
make it stop
everyone screams
they have arrived now
town idiot, town crier, and town drunk
residing here
watching me
feast
on your eyes

its just some arsonist
setting fire to my pockets
burning holes in my legs
i did for
close them eyes sweetheart
or i'll be right here whenhe

da da da don't

don't mind me you see
don't mind him
don't mind me
don't be what this place wants you to be
be what all else yearns you.
dive down,
the head writes
while nothing else evacuates right
deny me
like i deny you
the blinds are pulled closed
just like you want them to
i awake
and rub against your backside
somewhat responsive
so i slide inside
wet and slow
you come out from below
and moan a little
beg for me
i penetrate
and everything i say
damn well is believed
i have one
i think of you now
you read this
and i'm sure you sigh out loud
i save it all for you
just so you know
nobody makes me cum like you
nobody swallows
and smiles
and laughs
and enjoys
like you do
i love women all equally
but theres a sin inside you
that draws from one to thirty three
oh
be dirty
be nasty
romantic

Why... Hello There

hello friend
yes i know
why?
because we need to
i have to
to push it all out into the air
put them down on paper and watch it disappear
out of my insides
most of it isn't any good
ok.
fuck
all of it isn't good
but that's not the point.
one doesn't write for two
and two doesn't really care why one does it anyway
they just want entertainment
so zero can sit there
with that stupid open mouth
as the flies go in
as i do not let you out
the sickness returns
the silk shirts
DOUCHE BAGS!
ahhh destroy.
i dislike
you
me
mostly everything
except those who smile
at life
delicious