There is No Incision Deeper Than the One Made By You All

always fighting the tide,
there is no salvation
no god, no women or man, nothing
nothing will come down from the heavens
and nothing will stroll into the room
and take all the pity and remorse away
there is only you
"sometimes i wish i could start over"
yeah well,
you can't
"this isn't the way it was suppose to be done"
yeah well,
we're in it, either we change it, or lay down with it
you take these things to bed
even your loudest moan will never drown out
the sound of wind blowing through your empty soul
no matter how hard you dug your nails into my spine
will the blood run warm from your lips
pale blue lips
pale blue eyes
it's necrophilia
yes.
we as men have all fucked a corpse
on occasion
more than once
frequently
i did it for 6 years
not literally of course
cause that's just sick
but....
but you have false power
hiding between you
i made my choice
but i'm not absolute in my purity
my dick calls, "You should of done it!"
while my mind knows whats right
so now i argue with my dick
i argue with my brain
and i argue out loud
to whoever will bear it.

Play it Hard and Close to the Vest

you've discovered the vice young man,
at a young age and with frail young heart
with up and down constant beatings
and your stupid stiff upper lip
tight against your wool coat and leather gloves
you've been away haven't you?
we know where you've gone, when you saw it
this is almost as gorgeous as she was
almost.
we take these things that happen to us,
and put them in our pockets
we use them as book marks
and never pass them on to new books
it's temporary
even though you say nay
it is
your minds made up.
admit it

Of my Heart

the chill in my bones,
i shake em' off,
stepping out, into pale sunlight
heat hidden in the hands of the imperial feat,
the orchestra playing in my chest
and the flowers singing
the heavy cruiser sandwiched down the street
and the steel doors shutting heavily
right behind me
at night, the phone poles across the street
strangely resemble crosses
i'm still waiting for the fired colored leafs
to fall to the ground
we never gave up hope
Cody:
i think you're sick, we haven't been around,
you've been put on everything put on hold,
you've stumbled right your way right through this thing
we all called making a living.

it actually is christmas

so it actually is christmas
the saying goes
"everyday can't be christmas"
but with all that weight and burden,
will it actually be what we thrive for?

Entertainment

fairies dance, with boots on of course,
all over the foot of my bed,
and elves are somewhere to the north
plotting my every which wish
for my first day of rest
coffee and a cigarette
followed by a hot shower and
a movie worth my time
i haven't done christmas shopping,
i really don't have much money
so it'll be hand made gifts for all
out of junk others threw away
i'm not much right now, in the monetary sense,
but i do good by my friends,
and that is the gift in itself.

and the more you look....

and the more you look,
the less you find,
the more you try,
the harder it becomes,
to be okay
i can't help it because it runs,
runs through my system
it's something i posses
face it,
the world is shit
it's a plot to destroy and rape all of us
what are we to do?
reality will not escape us,
and unless we are willing to change our way of living,
we are destined for this ride
either we are silent and sit untouched,
or we exploit others to gain what we want,
there is no middle road
i'm in the middle road
maybe i want too much?
that's not a bad thing
the 3am sky is so beautiful tonight
i wish one of you would of seen it
i wish
i wish
they're just empty promises made on teletype
dreams
all fucking dreams
reality

Dry Erase

i fight everything,
myself mostly,
it's in my nature
i fight my way across the rip tide,
i fight my words
it's all i can do
vulnerability scares me,
do you not all understand?
i am what is left of a dying breed
balance
we will all fall into ourselves
let the loathing commence!
someone once said to always be ready,
stand at attention and expect the worse,
maybe hope for the best
lately, i'm wondering what the hell is going on?
am i becoming soft?
probably.