Of my Heart

the chill in my bones,
i shake em' off,
stepping out, into pale sunlight
heat hidden in the hands of the imperial feat,
the orchestra playing in my chest
and the flowers singing
the heavy cruiser sandwiched down the street
and the steel doors shutting heavily
right behind me
at night, the phone poles across the street
strangely resemble crosses
i'm still waiting for the fired colored leafs
to fall to the ground
we never gave up hope
Cody:
i think you're sick, we haven't been around,
you've been put on everything put on hold,
you've stumbled right your way right through this thing
we all called making a living.

it actually is christmas

so it actually is christmas
the saying goes
"everyday can't be christmas"
but with all that weight and burden,
will it actually be what we thrive for?

Entertainment

fairies dance, with boots on of course,
all over the foot of my bed,
and elves are somewhere to the north
plotting my every which wish
for my first day of rest
coffee and a cigarette
followed by a hot shower and
a movie worth my time
i haven't done christmas shopping,
i really don't have much money
so it'll be hand made gifts for all
out of junk others threw away
i'm not much right now, in the monetary sense,
but i do good by my friends,
and that is the gift in itself.

and the more you look....

and the more you look,
the less you find,
the more you try,
the harder it becomes,
to be okay
i can't help it because it runs,
runs through my system
it's something i posses
face it,
the world is shit
it's a plot to destroy and rape all of us
what are we to do?
reality will not escape us,
and unless we are willing to change our way of living,
we are destined for this ride
either we are silent and sit untouched,
or we exploit others to gain what we want,
there is no middle road
i'm in the middle road
maybe i want too much?
that's not a bad thing
the 3am sky is so beautiful tonight
i wish one of you would of seen it
i wish
i wish
they're just empty promises made on teletype
dreams
all fucking dreams
reality

Dry Erase

i fight everything,
myself mostly,
it's in my nature
i fight my way across the rip tide,
i fight my words
it's all i can do
vulnerability scares me,
do you not all understand?
i am what is left of a dying breed
balance
we will all fall into ourselves
let the loathing commence!
someone once said to always be ready,
stand at attention and expect the worse,
maybe hope for the best
lately, i'm wondering what the hell is going on?
am i becoming soft?
probably.

There are These People

these people sit up on their hills,
built upon a mass of dead hearts
twisted bones and acupuncture souls
fornicated bodies and the mangled wreckage
of rotting .......
its not that they don't care
they
just
don't
care.
the sky is smog yellow and devastatingly black
below are all of us
the supposed non conformers
the people with no defense
we huddle in a great mass and wait
wait for victory
nothing more and nothing less
the chill in our bones
the holes in our clothes
and the blood clots formed around our eyes
our dirty fingernails
no doctor or pharmaceutical can cure what ales us
hope is lost
drown in your defeat
sleep alone in your small crevice
lie like a rat
and steal like a thief
take every last chance
you deserve it

How Possesive

Maybe somewhere, through the gears of time,
The metal shavings fall right down the shaft
these tiny, little, insignificant and bullshit
pieces of frail aluminum.
nobody can even drill the holes through the pie pan.
this is not about love
or money
the two things that over consume this
this is about feeling true to the original
thoughts that brought you here
we are but one
and you are but two
this is not what we always hoped
and it will never be
this is only what is is.
is is.
it is,
face the facts and believe we are all injustificaly fucked
don't let it go
never let the thing with the thing
walk right into the fire