we sat with our backs to the cold wall
venetian blinds dividing
jabbing into our skulls
we were
barely recognizable
cheap white wine bottle between our naked bodies
as the cave singers yelped
mutual admiration
i got up and took the bottle
put my clothes on and proceeded to
run the bath for you and light some candles
and as you slipped that sweet tasting naked body in
i remained in my clothes
"get in"
"uh huh.. you relax.. i'll scrub.."
shooting me a glance
half believing, half weary, half tempted to laugh
but you remained
naked in the bath
sitting down, i put my back up against the wall and lit a cigarette
and
you reached over, pulled it out of my mouth and took a drag
passing it back
both the cigarette and bottle
you told me about your past
i listened intently, discovering how you and i weren't really all that different
running parallel to each other
i scrubbed you softly
running my hands all over that smooth skin
running my hands up your chest to the back of your neck
wrapping my hands around the back of your neck
squeezing ever so hard
until you'd whimper
small and sweet
and tremble under my hand
looking up at me with those big brown eyes
cigarette still clenched in my teeth
i felt like i was made of wood and wire
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
well.. Theres That
and i feel sick
i watch the monkey bang the symbols in his brain
as he works over the solution
so carefully planned out
and becoming the nuisance
becoming obnoxious
becoming real
i drop
everything that i believed
was what i felt
before
always feeling two steps from the finish line
i never get to complete what i always thought was
mine
too soon
in my head it all seems so simple
see what you want
go and do it
the time in between is spent infatuated with what seems alright
but while i lay
alone
at night
i shrivel and chill
shake around like ice cubes in the glass
waiting for the drink to make me feel
alright
no arguments
no kind of waiting time
no desire to be wanted
i want it as it wants me
so essentially we're both parasites
devouring organisms around us
devouring people
eating us all the while we think we're still alive
and i feel sick
above this
i feel tired
tired of runaways putting up all kinds of fronts
tired of these unknowns always wanting what isn't in front
of their eyes
but i know i'm weak
and as soon as the phone rings
i'll pickup
and be the midnight man
driving fast across the city
with a cigarette danging from my lips
and as i watch the parking enforcement signs
i lock my doors
kill the switch
chew some gum
and
i feel sick
so
i walk around
warm and tight
waiting for the one
but
i'm
always two steps from the finish line
i watch the monkey bang the symbols in his brain
as he works over the solution
so carefully planned out
and becoming the nuisance
becoming obnoxious
becoming real
i drop
everything that i believed
was what i felt
before
always feeling two steps from the finish line
i never get to complete what i always thought was
mine
too soon
in my head it all seems so simple
see what you want
go and do it
the time in between is spent infatuated with what seems alright
but while i lay
alone
at night
i shrivel and chill
shake around like ice cubes in the glass
waiting for the drink to make me feel
alright
no arguments
no kind of waiting time
no desire to be wanted
i want it as it wants me
so essentially we're both parasites
devouring organisms around us
devouring people
eating us all the while we think we're still alive
and i feel sick
above this
i feel tired
tired of runaways putting up all kinds of fronts
tired of these unknowns always wanting what isn't in front
of their eyes
but i know i'm weak
and as soon as the phone rings
i'll pickup
and be the midnight man
driving fast across the city
with a cigarette danging from my lips
and as i watch the parking enforcement signs
i lock my doors
kill the switch
chew some gum
and
i feel sick
so
i walk around
warm and tight
waiting for the one
but
i'm
always two steps from the finish line
The Green Phone and God Part II
the phone rang just now
the green phone
the rotary phone
the dead phone
it was god on the other end
i really couldn't understand what he was saying
receiving only bits and pieces
i could decipher this:
"peanuts... almonds... testicles.. home.. where do we start? uncle... i'm not getting cut... yooo hooo....."
haywire
i asked my uncle what he thought of my situation
he said it's, "okay"
i asked him if i was making the right moves?
he said, "they're okay"
i asked him what he thought of this girl
he said, "she's okay"
"uncle"
"yeah?"
"whats with all the okays?"
"you don't understand do you?"
"eh?"
"none of what you're asking matters"
"eh?"
"if you have to ask, i shouldn't tell you. you know already.. so don't waste our time"
"are you saying that what i'm saying to you is what i already know?"
.......
..
.
.
the green phone
the rotary phone
the dead phone
it was god on the other end
i really couldn't understand what he was saying
receiving only bits and pieces
i could decipher this:
"peanuts... almonds... testicles.. home.. where do we start? uncle... i'm not getting cut... yooo hooo....."
haywire
i asked my uncle what he thought of my situation
he said it's, "okay"
i asked him if i was making the right moves?
he said, "they're okay"
i asked him what he thought of this girl
he said, "she's okay"
"uncle"
"yeah?"
"whats with all the okays?"
"you don't understand do you?"
"eh?"
"none of what you're asking matters"
"eh?"
"if you have to ask, i shouldn't tell you. you know already.. so don't waste our time"
"are you saying that what i'm saying to you is what i already know?"
.......
..
.
.
Less TV
it's quiet
way too quiet
quiet enough
go home
come back tomorrow
and maybe i'll have something for you
but today
quiet
crickets
sprinklers
ice hitting glass
pour
type poor
way too quiet
quiet enough
go home
come back tomorrow
and maybe i'll have something for you
but today
quiet
crickets
sprinklers
ice hitting glass
pour
type poor
Why Don't We Take a Walk First
sometime when i was 16
my father asked me to take a ride with him
i sat in the passenger seat
submerging myself in the tan interior
of the big Dodge Diplomat
hanging my arm out of the window
while dad drove
cigarette hanging from his lips
we stopped at the liquor store
and he bought himself a tall can
and a carton of eggs
then we pulled off to the side of the parking lot
and we both got out
"i'm going to teach you how to drive"
"okay"
shit i thought
i was extremely nervous
first off because i was a nervous kid
that's about it
i was a nervous kid
i am a nervous kid
i got in and he leaned over and buckled me up
cigarette still hanging from his lips
he took the eggs and placed them in two paper bags
one bag he placed between my chest and the seat belt
the other he placed between my legs
as he got in the passenger seat, he cracked his beer
instructions were given
the part i remember most was this:
"i want to you drive slow, get used to her, feel her in your finger tips, once you have that in you and it feels natural, press the gas a bit, feel it out, let it open up, speed up.. but always remember those eggs. the eggs between your legs. protect your nuts. don't be a turkey."
i drove home tonight with a paper bag full of eggs between my legs
and didn't even think about them being there
it felt natural
i appreciate it when the pure things in life
come natural
it's as if the universe is smiling down on me
nodding its head
saying
"hey man, you're alright"
damn right
my father asked me to take a ride with him
i sat in the passenger seat
submerging myself in the tan interior
of the big Dodge Diplomat
hanging my arm out of the window
while dad drove
cigarette hanging from his lips
we stopped at the liquor store
and he bought himself a tall can
and a carton of eggs
then we pulled off to the side of the parking lot
and we both got out
"i'm going to teach you how to drive"
"okay"
shit i thought
i was extremely nervous
first off because i was a nervous kid
that's about it
i was a nervous kid
i am a nervous kid
i got in and he leaned over and buckled me up
cigarette still hanging from his lips
he took the eggs and placed them in two paper bags
one bag he placed between my chest and the seat belt
the other he placed between my legs
as he got in the passenger seat, he cracked his beer
instructions were given
the part i remember most was this:
"i want to you drive slow, get used to her, feel her in your finger tips, once you have that in you and it feels natural, press the gas a bit, feel it out, let it open up, speed up.. but always remember those eggs. the eggs between your legs. protect your nuts. don't be a turkey."
i drove home tonight with a paper bag full of eggs between my legs
and didn't even think about them being there
it felt natural
i appreciate it when the pure things in life
come natural
it's as if the universe is smiling down on me
nodding its head
saying
"hey man, you're alright"
damn right
Saturday, September 12, 2009
For Temporary Relief
i want to eat down on all fours with my dog
slurp at the water and lick myself
put my foot throught the tv
and knowing my luck
die from electricution
ha
ha ha
ha ha ha
anyway
don't mind me
doctors orders
have you ever taken a second and thought about this time?
your routine
eat, sleep, work, work, eat, sleep, drink drink, work sleep eat.
no matter where you drive
nothing drives you
nothing harnesses you, nothing erupts inside of you
no love
no shame
i try not to think of the repetative motions of this
it'll depress the hell out of you
it'll tear a hole in you
that no amount of booze, sex, love, or food will ever fill
but there are nice things here
beautiful moments that wash my eyes
fall over me like the sensation of release
and i double down
and lie on the floor
stare into space
and spasm
i can't tell you about those
because then you'll know
and kill them
same as with every lovely thing thats been created so far
same as with every unique music, film, or movement
it reachs critical mass
everyone sucks the goodness out of it
and then it becomes corporate
and the love is taken out of it
finally its parade across our eyes
like some kind of side show freak,
on this fucking TV!
that i want to put my foot through
which will then kill me
repetative isn't it?
slurp at the water and lick myself
put my foot throught the tv
and knowing my luck
die from electricution
ha
ha ha
ha ha ha
anyway
don't mind me
doctors orders
have you ever taken a second and thought about this time?
your routine
eat, sleep, work, work, eat, sleep, drink drink, work sleep eat.
no matter where you drive
nothing drives you
nothing harnesses you, nothing erupts inside of you
no love
no shame
i try not to think of the repetative motions of this
it'll depress the hell out of you
it'll tear a hole in you
that no amount of booze, sex, love, or food will ever fill
but there are nice things here
beautiful moments that wash my eyes
fall over me like the sensation of release
and i double down
and lie on the floor
stare into space
and spasm
i can't tell you about those
because then you'll know
and kill them
same as with every lovely thing thats been created so far
same as with every unique music, film, or movement
it reachs critical mass
everyone sucks the goodness out of it
and then it becomes corporate
and the love is taken out of it
finally its parade across our eyes
like some kind of side show freak,
on this fucking TV!
that i want to put my foot through
which will then kill me
repetative isn't it?
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